All I Need Read online

  Instead of feeling bad about Chase and their confrontation in her office that afternoon, Vanessa chose to get mad. Damn him. Damn him. Why couldn’t he understand her point of view? Well, it was time to banish that mistake from her mind. Which was why she’d invited Dawson over for dinner. She’d dressed in pretty peach lounging pajamas, curled her hair and put on some perfume.

  Hmm, what are you wearing? The scent is intoxicating. If she recalled correctly, Chase had his face buried in her neck when he said the words.

  The doorbell rang, right on time. She walked down the stairs of the fancy mayoral residence to the foyer and pulled open the door. “Hello, Dawson.”

  “Vanessa.” Leaning over, he kissed her cheek. “You look lovely. I haven’t seen much of you all month.”

  Since Chase.

  “Well, you’re here tonight. Come on in.” She led him down the hall to the library off to the right. She loved this room with books against one whole wall from the floor to the high ceilings. An oak ladder lay against the shelves. She gestured to the light brown leather couch. “Sit. Shall I make us each a scotch?”

  “Yes.”

  When she joined him with the drinks, he picked up on his earlier comment. “I thought maybe you didn’t want to see me again.”

  “That’s not true,” she lied. “We had dinner a couple of times before you went to Berlin. Then you were away for two weeks. Was it a productive trip?”

  “Yes. I’m merging some of my companies. We negotiated important details.”

  “Tell me about them.” Evasion usually worked for her with Dawson, especially if the conversation was centered on Dawson Conglomerate.

  As he talked about his business, her mind wandered. She’d called her mother today before making plans with Dawson...

  “Hi, Mom. Would you like to go out to dinner tonight?”

  “I can’t dear, I’m packing.”

  “For what?” Please don’t let her be going to Paul’s.

  “It’s time we gave Holly her privacy. I’m moving to Dutch Towers.”

  “Did something happen?”

  “Truthfully, I’ve been wanting to move to an elderly community for a long time.”

  “Dad doesn’t?”

  “Apparently not. But it’s time I did what I want to do.” She sounded weary, despite the bravado. “I need some help in moving.”

  “I’d love to do that. I can work my schedule around yours...”

  “Vanessa, where did you go?” Dawson’s voice held irritation.

  “Nowhere. I was listening.” She hoped he didn’t quiz her.

  But apparently he had other things in mind. He set down his drink, took hers from her, put the glass on the table, then tugged her up. “Let’s go to bed. It’s been a while.”

  * * *

  Shaking, Vanessa left Dawson alone in her bed. She grabbed jeans and a shirt from her closet, dressed hastily in the bathroom and raced out of her own house. Once in the car, she put her head down and fought her feelings. Chase’s face kept swimming before her. She couldn’t get him out of her mind. Obviously. Oh, God!

  She began to drive. The night was clear and dry, at least, but Vanessa knew deep down she shouldn’t be on the road. She was dazed by all that had happened in the last twenty-four hours: The reports on the firefighters from House 8. Her awful, relationship-ending fight with Chase. And now this with Dawson.

  But it was Chase who plagued her. All right. Vanessa would do something about that! She swerved over to a parking lot of a drugstore and took out her phone. Called up her calendar. What she needed was there. Without second thoughts, she set the GPS and started the car. Calmer now that she’d made a decision, she pulled out of the lot and found the expressway. She drove fast, battling back the demons.

  But when she reached the Buffalo hotel, she realized she didn’t have a plan. The employees wouldn’t give out Chase’s room number, and if she called his cell, he might reject her over the phone. Ditto if the clerk called his room for her. Damn it. She checked her watch. Midnight. He was probably asleep. The light from the restaurant/bar snagged her attention.

  Could I be that lucky?

  She was. From the doorway, she saw him at the bar sipping a drink. Thank you, God. Crossing the short distance, she stood behind him and said, “Chase.”

  He whipped around. His face registered shock, then his eyes narrowed. “Vanessa, what’s wrong?”

  “I had to see you. I...” Shit, her throat clogged with emotion. Shame. Grief. Confusion.

  He stood immediately and drew her into his side. “Come on, let’s get out of here.”

  The elevator ride up was short, the hallway not too long. She heard the swipe of the card and the snick of the lock.

  Inside, he stopped by the bed and turned her around. Held her by the arms. “You’re scaring me. Is someone hurt? Dead?”

  “No...it’s me.”

  He ran his knuckles down her face. “What about you?”

  “I...I feel so bad.”

  “About our fight? So do I. I’ve been trying to make sense of it for the last twenty-four hours.” He took her hand. “There’s a sitting area by the window. Let’s go talk over there.”

  But she didn’t budge. “No.”

  “What? Why?”

  Her eyes were wide and tumultuous.

  “Tell me what you need, Vanessa.”

  She glanced at the bed. “I need you.”

  * * *

  Chase fumbled with the buttons of his shirt while she whipped her top over her head. They kicked off their shoes at the same time. She slithered out of her jeans and he rid himself of his. For a few seconds, they stared at each other, naked, exposed...aroused.

  Then he dragged her up against him and felt her whole body trembling. Sanity told him her reaction wasn’t all excitement. “Vanessa—”

  She stopped his words with her mouth, with the grind of her body against his. She made it clear what she wanted. As gently as he could, he lowered her to the bed. Covered her completely.

  “Now,” she rasped out.

  His mind hazed over. Good judgment fled. He parted her legs and thrust into her. Once, twice and she spiraled, calling his name. His own orgasm hit him hard. They burst into a cloud of cataclysmic pleasure together.

  Afterward, he pulled up the covers, drew her head to his chest. He could hear the thump of his own heartbeat. After a long time, he asked, “What brought this on?”

  She nosed into him. He let her take her time, and finally she came up on her elbows. Her hair tangled from his hands, her eyes glowing with satisfaction, she said, “I did something awful to someone I care about.”

  “Me? With the investigation?”

  “That, too.”

  “What else?”

  “I was so angry at you after our conversation yesterday, so confused today that I called Dawson. Invited him over.” She searched Chase’s face. “He wanted to go to bed right away. I haven’t seen much of him since us...we haven’t...”

  Now his heart began to thunder. Had she done the unthinkable? Acute pain, equaling the pleasure of moments ago, shot through him. “Aw, sweetheart, don’t tell me you were with him...like this before you came to me.”

  “It’s not that.”

  Shocking, draining relief came fast. “Then what is it?”

  “We...got in bed. He touched me. I couldn’t stand the feel of another man’s hands on me so I... Oh, Chase, I pretended he was you. I know that’s horrible, and it gets worse. I whispered your name.”

  Chase froze.

  “When I realized what I’d done, what it meant, I bolted off the bed. He’d already drawn back and must have been dumbfounded because he didn’t say a word. I got dressed and ran out.”

  “You left your own house?”

  “At that moment, I’m not sure I knew where I was. He has a key. He’ll lock up.”

  “I don’t care about the house. I care that you drove here to see me.”

  “You didn’t want me to come?”

/>   “No, no. I wanted you here. But I’m worried about you driving while you were so upset.”

  “I was careful.”

  “Why, Vanessa? Why did you call my name? Why are you so upset?”

  “Because I realized something terrible has happened. I love you, Chase.”

  His world tilted on its axis. “Oh, Vanessa.”

  “I realize it’s hopeless. I went back on my word. But I didn’t know how I felt until tonight.”

  She laid her head down on his chest.

  “What a coincidence,” Chase said. “I figured out the same thing at about eleven tonight. It drove me to the bar.” He pressed her back into the pillow and bent over her. “I love you, too.”

  * * *

  They slept. Soundly. But Chase’s alarm on his phone, which was preset, went off at seven a.m.

  Vanessa rolled into him. “Damn it.”

  He chuckled. “How about this? I won’t go to anything in the conference until this afternoon when my panel speaks.”

  “I have a council meeting at seven tonight.” Her hand sneaked under the covers. “What shall we do until then, Chief?”

  He palmed her breasts. “I don’t know, Madam Mayor. What would you like to do?”

  She moaned when he took a nipple in his mouth. “Just this.”

  His mouth wandered up to her neck. He kissed his way across her shoulder. Nipped. Soothed with his tongue. Vanessa relished the slow, tantalizing tenderness of his touch. She took her hand on a journey of its own. Over his pecs, his abdomen, down between his legs again to grasp him boldly. He gasped, and sighed.

  After agonizing minutes of gentleness, with a little bit of awe, he slid inside her. And took his time. She wanted more, and more and he gave it stingily. Then she crested like a waterfall flowing over and, afterward, his own release seemed to come in strong swells and lasted a long time.

  They slept some more.

  * * *

  “You’re not going to tell me I look like a fire chief, are you?”

  He’d put his windbreaker on her and zipped it, then topped everything off with a fire department ball cap. “You’ll do until you get to the lobby and out the door. You only have to evade detection for about five minutes.”

  “Okay. Kiss me again.”

  He took her mouth. Claimed her.

  “Tell me, again.”

  “I love you.”

  “And that we’ll figure this out.”

  “We’ll figure this out.”

  He rode the elevator down with her. They were alone as it was the middle of a session. He squeezed her hand, let go and tipped the bill of her cap down more just as the elevator doors opened.

  She headed out first.

  Right into a man’s chest.

  “Whoa, there.”

  Her head snapped back and the cap fell to the floor. The man grasped her arms. “Sorry but you...oh, Madam Mayor?”

  She looked into the face of Battalion Chief Ben Cordaro.

  * * *

  “I’m not judging you,” Ben said after Vanessa hurried away from him without saying anything.

  “Thanks, Ben. Let’s go have coffee.”

  They sat in the little café off the lobby. They ordered without talking and then Chase began. “I have a presentation in an hour, but I have to say a few things.”

  “Okay.” Ben seemed calm. “I’m surprised, though. You told me the photo of you two in the paper was innocent.”

  “It was. Then.”

  “What happened?”

  “A sequence of events that seem surreal now. But I know one thing. I’m in love with her.”

  Ben’s eyes rounded. “Holy shit.” He took a bead on Chase. “I take it she feels the same.”

  “She does. I promised her we’d figure this out, but I have no idea how. The fire chief is an employee of the city and she’s his boss.”

  Ben gestured to the program in front of him. “She could be accused of sexual harassment.”

  “That dawned on me when I got here.”

  “What are you going to do?”

  “I have no idea. She was upset by something that happened between us, some work-related thing, so she drove down last night.”

  With a faraway expression in his eyes, Ben shook his head. “Seems to me we all screw relationships up and regret it later.”

  “Like you and Diana?”

  “Yep.”

  “I remember how the split between you two all those years ago affected you. You were a basket case. Any advice?”

  “I don’t have any advice for either of you about your jobs. But I have experience in letting someone I loved go.” He stared hard at Chase. “You’ll regret it for the rest of your life.”

  “I’m afraid of that, Ben. But I can’t seem to see a clear path forward.”

  Chapter 17

  * * *

  The day after her tiff with Joe, Holly woke up and lay in bed, thinking about what she could have done differently. Kept her mouth shut, for sure. But what kind of basis for a relationship was that? Having been a doormat all her life, she was finally ridding herself of that behavior, and didn’t want it to come back with Joe. Still, the argument seemed pretty silly in the bold light of morning.

  She got up, used the bathroom and then went down the hall to get coffee. Halfway there, she heard yelling from the kitchen.

  “You what?” Grandpa.

  “I rented an apartment at Dutch Towers.” Grandma.

  “Why the hell would you do that?”

  “You know why. We’ve been in Holly’s hair long enough. The girl has a life!”

  “We could have both gone to Paul’s.”

  “I don’t want to live with Paul. Besides, Edward. You owe me. You’re responsible for us losing Doug and Marion. Among other things.”

  Holly hesitated when she mentioned Linc’s parents. What did Grandma mean by that?

  He mumbled something Holly couldn’t hear. Instinctively, she knew their fight was getting personal. Holly needed to make her presence known so she walked into the dining area. “Good morning. So you know, I heard you arguing. You don’t have to move out, either one of you.”

  Ella raised a brow. “I think we do. Besides, I want to live in Dutch Towers. I told you that.”

  “All right. This is your business. I’ll get coffee and go back to my room.”

  “You don’t have to leave,” Grandma said, then faced Grandpa. “I’m going to order a bed and bar stools to be delivered tomorrow.” She walked out of the kitchen.

  “I’m not moving!” Grandpa called after her.

  She disappeared down the hall. “I am.”

  Holly got ready for school and left the house fast. She couldn’t help but notice Joe’s car was in front of his garage. He had a couple of days off. She wondered what he’d do today. Should she go over? She still had time.

  Since he wasn’t working, he might not even be up. Maybe she’d call him later.

  * * *

  “What are you doing here?” Joe asked when he saw Chelsea behind the desk at The Weight Room. She was on maternity leave from the fire department, and supposedly from the gym, too.

  The girl looked fantastic for three weeks after childbirth. Her skin glowed and there was an expression of awe in her eyes still. “I came in for everybody to meet the baby.”

  That perked him up. He hadn’t gone to see the newborn out of respect for their privacy. “Really? Where is she?”

  “Jake’s changing her in the back room.” She rolled her eyes. “Do you have any idea how many diapers an infant goes through?” But the words were overshadowed by the deep love in her tone.

  “Ah-no!”

  “Of course you don’t.” Her gaze narrowed on him. “What are you doing here? Jake told me you got hurt and are supposed to be resting.”

  “Yeah, but I’m better today.” Actually, he felt like shit, both physically and inside. But he wasn’t going to let Holly or the pain in. “I’m going stir crazy and thought I’d do some light weig
hts.”

  “No!”

  “No?”

  “You’re not doing them here or elsewhere. You need to take it easy.”

  “I rested yesterday.”

  “One more day. Come back tomorrow.”

  “Okay,” Joe heard behind him. “She’s all cleaned up.”

  He turned to see Jake carrying their tiny little girl, Rosie. His face shone with the same awe as his wife’s. Joe had seen the same reaction in other men after they had a kid. He focused on the baby. “Hey, little Rosie. You look cute as hell in all pink.”

  Which of course reminded him of Holly.

  “Delaney’s idea of girl clothes.”

  “That’s okay,” Jake said, kissing Rosie’s head. “The guys at the firehouse got her a baseball mitt and a Yankee uniform.”

  Joe laughed. And hurt at the same time. He’d never seen happier people. He wanted this someday.

  “Boy, Francey’s going to have her hands full,” Jake commented.

  Chelsea gave him a shut up look.

  “Um...”

  “What’s going on?” Joe asked.

  Chelsea touched his arm. A pitying expression crossed her face. “Francey’s pregnant again. With twins this time.”

  Joe felt the old resentment rise in him like a snake about to bite. “I didn’t know they wanted more kids.”

  “I’m sorry if this makes you feel bad.”

  “Nah. I’m cool with it.” He looked around. “Listen, since you won’t let me work out, I’m gonna book.” Leaning over, he kissed Rosie’s head, smiled at her parents and got out of there as fast as possible.

  Once in his car, he pounded on the steering wheel. How on earth could he still be upset by something Francey did or had in her life? He thought he was past this.

  Holly could help.

  Damn it. After what happened between them, he wasn’t going to go to her with this!”

  * * *

  Holly got home from school on Wednesday and saw Joe’s car in the driveway. They hadn’t texted or called each other, and this was stupid. She walked over and went through the garage, knocked on the kitchen door.

  He opened it. He looked terrible with bloodshot eyes and his hair askew. Because of her? “You okay, Joe?”